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Have Courage and Be Kind

On Easter Sunday, my family and I went to see Cinderella. I'm a big fan of fairy tales, and Kenneth Branagh's directing (Much Ado About Nothing, anyone?), so I knew I'd love it, but what really struck me was how Ella dealt with the suffering and pain she experienced throughout her life.

I'm a big believer that we have a choice on how we react to bad things that happen to us: 1) we can become bitter and angry, and let our struggles become our identity or 2) allow our suffering to become something greater and allow a phoenix to rise from our ashes.

As her beloved mother lies on her death bed, she gives Ella some invaluable advice: Have courage and be kind. It's simple, basic advice, but it's the advice that keeps Ella going. After the death of both her parents, Ella could have turned to anger, to bitterness, but instead, she chose to be courageous and kind. As seen in the movie, it's not an easy path. She is treated as a slave by her cruel stepmother and sisters, but instead of retaliation or revenge, she continues to face her problems head on.

That's what makes her so beautiful. Think about it. The stepmother, played by the flawless Cate Blanchett, is beautiful, absolutely gorgeous... on the outside. But her cruelty towards Ella makes her despicable. When the audience gets a taste of Lady Tremaine's back story, things make a little more sense. She is twice widowed, and was deeply in love with her first husband. She, too, has suffered. She was always the second choice of her second husband, and lived in the shadow of his first wife and beloved daughter. She is not cruel for cruelness' sake, but because she has been hurt.

But so has Ella. And she rises above it. In fact, at the end of the movie, she is able to face her tormentor and tell her: I forgive you. It couldn't have been easy for Ella to say that, but she chose to. She looked at her stepmother and saw her humanity. This is what we are called to. Our struggles should not break us down and cripple us, rather they should lift us to be Christlike, to love.

In the credits, a beautiful song, Strong sung by Sonna Rele, played, and the lyrics really stuck out to me. I think they summed up Ella's character, and who we are all called to be;

Let your smile light up the sky, keep your spirit soaring high 

Trust in your heart and your sun shines forever and ever. Hold fast to kindness, your light shines forever and ever. I believe in you and me. We are strong 

A bird all alone on the wind can still be strong and sing

May we act with courage and kindness, not allowing our struggles to define us, but our dignity. We are strong.

"I can do all things in Him who strengthens me" - Philippians 4:13

I'm Not Strong Enough

Can we all just talk super quick about how hard it is to ask for help? Whether it be with a project, or affording something, or during a time of doubt, it's probably one of the hardest things to do. When you ask for help, it's a rejection of pride and an admission to yourself and others that maybe, just maybe you don't have it all together.

Basically if we're not able to do it ourselves, we're weak. Or at least that's what we're told to believe. But in reality, the strongest people are the ones who are able to put aside their pride, and admit that they need help.

When I was first diagnosed with depression and anxiety, my mom made it clear that I could never put my problems on someone else. I had a hard time drawing the line of what was appropriate to mention and what was inappropriate. I'd say things about self-harm or my hospitalizations, and my mom would give me the "that's too much information" or "you're making other people feel bad/uncomfortable talks".

And so I learned to never, ever talk about how I felt with my friends.

It wasn't until my senior year of high school that a friend encouraged me to share my difficulties with her. I remember being pretty dumbfounded, and tread carefully when telling her about my problems.

She loved me after that, too.

My freshman year of college was basically a miracle. Everyone kept telling me how amazing I was doing and how proud they were of me. Which, when things got hard, made it so hard for me to ask for any help. I couldn't let everyone down. I was strong enough.

But, gosh, I wasn't. I'm still not. None of us are. Jesus wasn't strong enough to carry His cross on His own. Simon had to help Him out.

Sometimes, we can't do it on our own. And that's okay. God created us to be in community, with others and with Him. Don't be afraid to reach out to Him, and to those He has placed in your life.

Hands of Mercy, won't you cover me? Lord right now I'm asking you to be strong enough, strong enough, for both of us. 

100 Happy Days: Day 5

I posted this on Mothers' Day. It's a picture of my mom hugging me after I got my first tattoo, "strength" on my wrist. She encouraged me getting it, and never fails to remind me just how strong I am.

There's no such thing as a small victory.

Yesterday, I was super sad. Like, I climbed up in bed and cried for a good hour sad. It was not pretty. I remember when I was crying to myself, I was afraid that this meant that I was going to be in a major depression for the rest of the semester, like last year. But somehow, I was able to reach out to a friend, and told her I needed to talk.

I never did that last year. I kept it inside until it hurt, and refused to tell anyone, including my mom and therapist. But this time, I reached out and asked for help.

I referred to my ability to do that as "a small victory", but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it wasn't small, in the least.

I could have decided to stay in bed crying, feeling sorry for myself, instead of reaching out and asking for help. I could have resorted to self harm, which I had in the past.

But I didn't.

That's no small victory. That's just... a victory. And it shows just how far I've come since this time last year.

There's no such thing as a small victory. Every victory is a sign of strength in its own way. Don't downplay your successes by calling them small. They're awesome, and I'm proud of you!

God is too. He doesn't require we succeed in big huge ways, every small success, He's so proud of us. He really is. He only asks that we try.

And if you don't succeed, He's right there, with a hand outstretched, ready to brush you off and help you try again. Reach out to Him. He wants to love you. Don't forget: saints are just sinners who got back up.

I'll be praying for you, warrior. Please pray for me!