Yesterday was a bad day.

I was lonely, sad, stressed, overwhelmed, you name the bad emotion, I was probably feeling it. As I returned to my room after a tough day, fighting back tears, I wondered if I mattered to anyone. If my presence was needed. I began to pray, "God, I know I'm loved by you and that my life matters to you. Please make it known to me and make it undoubtable."

That's when I saw this written on my hall's bulletin board.

 

God is really good at smacking me with 2x4's. :)

If you think of someone, or something reminds you of someone, tell them. You never know the difference a kind word can make.

Pain is Pain is Pain

Beautiful.

The Modesty Problem

Before I begin this post... I should probably start by defining modesty.

Yes, I know. Modesty varies person to person, etc. etc. But can we all agree that it is dressing with the intention of glorifying your body to God?

Yes? Good. we can continue.

All my life, I've dressed in a modest fashion. I'm not trying to brag or be 'holier-than-thou', but it's true. I've never been allowed to show cleavage, wear strapless dresses (until much recently), show my midriff, wear short shorts, spaghetti straps or bikinis. (NOTE: I AM NOT SAYING WOMEN WHO DRESS THIS WAY ARE IMMODEST. THIS WILL BECOME CLEAR)

However, I never knew why I did this, besides the fact that my mom told me to. I'm plus sized, so if I wore a bikini or short shorts, it would be borderline obscene. Recently, I've been wondering WHY I dress the way I do. Is it because I am treating my body as a temple of God worthy of love and respect, or because I'm ashamed of it and covering it up?

Of course, I want to say that it's because I do it out of love for God, myself, my future husband, and all those around me.

But it would be a lie.

If one day I woke up and all of my excess weight had just melted away... I'd probably dress the same way I do now. Not out of love or respect... but because I'd probably still be uncomfortable in my body.

It's a scary revelation, but here it is:

I don't dress modestly.

I dress appropriately, covering up what needs to be covered. But, I don't do it out of love or respect for God, others, or myself. I do it out of self-consciousness. That's not modesty. Maybe it is from the outside, and maybe I'm not leading others to sin, and maybe I'm "accidentally modest", but it's not being done purposefully. And that bothers me.

I pray that one day, I will be able to love myself enough to be able to treat my body as the temple it is.

Faith

A word on feminism

As an English major, I will quote my friend Merriam Webster. According to him, Feminism is: the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities.

Okay. Cool. That's been warped by modern day society, but whatever.

Now, as a Theology major, I will quote my other best friend, the Catechism: "In creating men 'male and female,' God gives man and woman an equal personal dignity." "Man is a person, man and woman equally so, since both were created in the image and likeness of the personal God." (CCC 2334)

So... if we take both of these teachings and definitions into account, isn't it obvious that all Catholics should be feminists? NOT the idea that women are no more than their vaginas or reproductive organs (as feminism refers to today), but that we have equal dignity and thus should have equal rights and opportunities? 

I am a proud feminist. A feminist who believes that women are so, so much more than their reproductive organs. I believe that women are intelligent, and strong, such did the early feminists, or suffragettes.