An Open Letter to Sisters at Shelton High School

To my beautiful sisters,

Last night was your prom, and I hope you had the greatest time ever! It's hard to believe that my own senior prom was three years ago, but it was such a fun night, and I hope that your own was just as great, if not even better!

One of my favorite parts of the night was getting ready. I spent hours looking for the perfect dress and when I found it, I shared it with the world. I couldn't wait to wear it to the dance. I can only imagine the anger and frustration you felt when your school announced the week before that there was a dress code you had to adhere to.

But ladies, some of the dresses... they weren't really dresses. This isn't about preaching or shaming, rather maybe reiterating something you know, or telling you something you didn't... You are so, so, so beautiful. Exquisite, even. In sweatpants, a bathing suit, whatever. Just think: you are the only person with your exact hair color, texture, eye color, nose shape, hand size, laugh, corny sense of humor, etc. You are unique, and a gift to the world. Please, share it with the world! Share your wonder, your beauty, your voice. Share it with your words, your actions, and, yes, even through your way of dressing.

You are more than your physical appearance. There's nothing wrong with dressing to complement your physical beauty, in fact, we are called to allow our inner beauty to shine through our bodies. But, beauty does not equal leaving nothing to be hidden.

Life itself is a mystery, and as women, we are called to enhance the mystery.

When you dress, think if what you are wearing is enhancing the unique, unrepeatable beauty that is within you, or if it's drawing away from your inner beauty.

This isn't a modesty post, rather a, "gosh dang, you're so beautiful!" post. This isn't about sin, or self-esteem, but about understanding your worth. And ladies, you are worth so much. 

Each of us is important and beautiful, needed and wanted. In his letter to every women, written in 1995, (now Saint!) Pope John Paul II thanks women (yes, even you!):

Thank you, every woman, for the simple fact of being a woman! Through the insight which is so much a part of your womanhood you enrich the world's understanding and help to make human relations more honest and authentic.

Because of you, the world is a better place. More beautiful, gracious, awe-inspiring, authentic.

Thank you for giving the gift of yourself to the world! Your beauty makes the world more beautiful.

Love,

Katie

Modest, Not Hottest but oh-so Beautiful

Bekah strikes again!

What is Modesty?

"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." - 1 Corinthians 10:31

This has been a question I've been thinking about for a long time: how do you define modesty? Can there be one definition of modesty? 

So, I decided to look at a few sources to get an idea of what different people think modesty is.

According to Wikipedia, modesty is "a mode of dress and deportment intended to avoid encouraging sexual attraction in others..."

Although I guess that if you dress modestly, this can be a side effect, I don't think this definition covers even a fraction of what modesty really is.

Saint John Paul II said that the problem with pornography wasn't that it showed too much, but that it showed too little. What does he mean by this? Pornography shows not only the human body, but the person, as a sexual object with a sole purpose of sexual pleasure and instant gratification. Humanity is worth so much more than that, so much more than only being used for pleasure. In this Lifeteen post, the author says that this is the problem with immodesty.

So, with that in mind, we can say that immodesty is an objectification of the human body, and modesty is seeing the body as a vessel of the person within.

I once said that I wasn't modest. I'm still not sure if I am. Sure, I cover what needs to be covered, but in all honesty, it's not to reflect the dignity of my personhood, but to cover what I think is ugly.

So, I'm going to define modesty: Modesty is a way of dress which glorifies the Lord and reflects the dignity of the person.

We are called to glorify God in all that we do, not man. That includes modest dress and immodest dress. If we are dressing modestly simply to make sure that no one is sexually aroused by us, we are putting man before God. We are trying to please those around us.

Similarly, if we wear what is "cool" with the knowledge that it is not pleasing to God. We are putting man before God.

When you put something on, don't think what your grandmother or brother or father or best friend would think: think about what God would think.

 

The Modesty Problem

Before I begin this post... I should probably start by defining modesty.

Yes, I know. Modesty varies person to person, etc. etc. But can we all agree that it is dressing with the intention of glorifying your body to God?

Yes? Good. we can continue.

All my life, I've dressed in a modest fashion. I'm not trying to brag or be 'holier-than-thou', but it's true. I've never been allowed to show cleavage, wear strapless dresses (until much recently), show my midriff, wear short shorts, spaghetti straps or bikinis. (NOTE: I AM NOT SAYING WOMEN WHO DRESS THIS WAY ARE IMMODEST. THIS WILL BECOME CLEAR)

However, I never knew why I did this, besides the fact that my mom told me to. I'm plus sized, so if I wore a bikini or short shorts, it would be borderline obscene. Recently, I've been wondering WHY I dress the way I do. Is it because I am treating my body as a temple of God worthy of love and respect, or because I'm ashamed of it and covering it up?

Of course, I want to say that it's because I do it out of love for God, myself, my future husband, and all those around me.

But it would be a lie.

If one day I woke up and all of my excess weight had just melted away... I'd probably dress the same way I do now. Not out of love or respect... but because I'd probably still be uncomfortable in my body.

It's a scary revelation, but here it is:

I don't dress modestly.

I dress appropriately, covering up what needs to be covered. But, I don't do it out of love or respect for God, others, or myself. I do it out of self-consciousness. That's not modesty. Maybe it is from the outside, and maybe I'm not leading others to sin, and maybe I'm "accidentally modest", but it's not being done purposefully. And that bothers me.

I pray that one day, I will be able to love myself enough to be able to treat my body as the temple it is.